It's Contaigous ...

For years AP has been dealing with a very painful illness. It ruins most romantic dates and fun times with friends. I've had to help him through some very tough times in the face of extreme pain and frustration, but we just recently got to a happy place. A place where I would watch out for his well being and the illness didn't keep us from leaving the house. We were learning to live with the disease.

You see, AP is a bad orderer. Terrible, attroshish, hideous food orderer. We've been at some of the best restaurants in town and the waiter comes back to the table with some of the most foul food we've ever seen. It is a sickness. About a year into our marriage, and about 53 occurrences of this ordering debocial, I wised up. I started paying attention to what he ordered. I started interrupting after the waiter said, "okay" to change his order to something more appetising.

In recent years, I have learned to hold a conference with AP at the table before the waiter comes. "What are you going to order?" I ask as if it's no big deal. I don't want to give him the ordering butterflies. I lovingly correct his choices to the more main stream, less risky things on the menu, and we move ahead. And, the system works. It benefits both of us. AP is happy during the meal instead of disappointed, and we don't have to purchase a second dinner to replace the bad one. This was all working well until this Saturday night.

Exhibit A:
See the "COMP" item at the bottom of the receipt? I had a temporary lapse in judgement. You see, I couldn't make up MY mind about what I wanted at Outback. I asked AP for HIS advice. "Should I get the Queensland Salad, or the Prime Rib?" I said. Bad move. Instantly the bad ordering disease spread to me! How could I be so stupid???? I asked a bad orderer for advice! I ended up with the toughest, most disgusting steak I have ever had at Outback instead of my tried and true favorite salad. I had a bad meal at a restaurant instead of AP. And he had a delicious steak. Oh, the humanity ...