Dear NBC:

Every time I watch NBC's hit comedy The Office I have flashbacks to Fox19, my former employer. In the two years I was employed there I witnessed more story lines unfold than the writers of the office could ever use. So, in an effort to share the comedy with the world, I am going to write a series of posts -- these are all TRUE stories from my previous office.

The Chia Pet Thief:
Every year in December the company that sells that American classic piece of pottery with sprouts, Chia Pet puts in a large order for the cheapest television advertising that money can buy. You see the result on your screen as 15 year old spots with that catchy stuttering jingle.

The last Christmas I was employed by the television station my friend Misty had that account. As a sort of holiday bonus the Chia Pet company shipped her a huge box of Chia Pets. They were all characters from Dreamworks' Madagascar.



Misty generously shared the Chia-abundance with the rest of us, but reserved the last two "pets" for her little girls. She went home and told the girls how she had a surprise for them, but she forgot it at work. The girls got all excited and could not wait for mom to get home the next day.

Sadly, when Misty returned to her desk the next morning the Chia Pets were gone. In an effort to recover them she sent out a departmental e-mail.
"Hey guys, I had two Chia Pets on my desk that I was saving for my girls, if you have seen them -- please let me know. -Misty"

Misty only got one reply to her e-mail, from our boss (Michael Scott).
"Misty -- I don't know where your Chia Pets are, but someone stole the one from my desk that you gave me, too."

Weeks go by, and Misty's girls never got their Chia Pets. Mine however, was growing nicely on my desk, as well as the Chia Pet of my co-worker Mark. One day Justin from the graphics department walks by and says, "Oh, you guys are growing Chia Pets? My little girls are too."

Instantly, Mark and I look at each other and he says, "Justin, are your Chia Pets Madagascar Chia Pets?"

To which Justin replied, "Yeah, I was just walking out the door one day and Michael stopped me. He said that he had a gift for me and came back with those three Chia Pets. That was really nice of him."

Michael stole Misty's Chia Pets for no reason. This was a trademark characteristic. He would try to impress people by over promising them things and giving them stuff that was really meaningless.

In this case, he stole from one of his own employees to impress an art dude in another department. And, worse than that -- he replied to Misty's e-mail knowing that he was the one that stole the pets, and in an effort to hide his own guilt he fabricated a lie that he too was a victim of the pottery thief.

Are you kidding me? Are we in the 1st grade?