This was an actual e-mail sent to all of FOX19 (complete with grammatical errors, misspelling, and ALL CAPS craziness). Yep, all 100+ employees got to enjoy the splendor that was L**da A**ry's rant about Cherry Cordial ice cream. We all came to work with the best present ever in our in-boxes that day.
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From: A**ry, L**da
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2004 8:57 AM
To: All WXIX
Cc: A**ry, L**da
Subject: YOU DIDN'T GET AWAY WITH IT
SOMEONE ATE MY ICE CREAM MONDAY NIGHT AND I WANT IT REPLACED AT ONCE
IT WAS UNITED DAIRY FARMERS CHERRY CORDIAL YOGURT THAT WAS IN THE FREEZER. IT NEED TO BE REPLACED BY THE TIME I GET BACK IN ON MONDAY, IF IT IS NOT YOU NEED TO REMEMBER THAT SOMEONE SAW YOU EAT IT AND IT WILL GET BACK TO ME -- AND YOU DO NOT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN-- THIS IS A THEFT AND I AM GOING TO TREAT IT AS ONE. IF YOU CAN NOT AFFORD FOOD THAN I SUGGEST YOU ASK YOUR SUPERVISOR FOR A RAISE AND STOP STILLING THINGS FROM YOU COWORKERS. UDF ICE CREAM IS $4 A PINT, AND THERE IS NO WAY YOU ATE IT WITHOUT SOMEONE SEEING YOU.
AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED YOU ARE A PETTY THIEF AND YOU ARE PROBABLE THE SAME PERSON WHO IS TAKING OTHER THINGS, FOOD, MONEY, BOOKS, ETC AND YOU WILL BE FOUND OUT. STEALING IS STEALING AND YOU CAN'T GET AROUND WHAT YOU DID.
WE ALL GOT PAID TUESDAY AND SHOULD HAVE MONEY-- THERE ARE A NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO BRING FOOD IN TO SAVE MONEY, BUT FOR THOSE OF US WHO ARE IN HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT OR 1ST SHIFT WE CAN NOT GO OUT TO GET ANY THING TO EAT SO THEREFORE KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY THINGS.
I AM TREATING THIS AS A PERSONAL ATTACK ON ME AND WILL NOT LET THIS ISSUE REST UNTIL MY ICE CREAM IS REPLACED
ONCE AGAIN I WONT MY ICE CREAM REPLACED BY MONDAY
ANYONE WHO'VE SEEN ANYBODY EATING UDF ICE CREAM ON MONDAY LET ME KNOW
TO THE SCUM OF THE EARTH WHO ATE MY ICE CREAM YOU ARE A PETTY LOWLIFE THIEF WHO WILL BE TREATED AS SUCH
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In true FOX19 fashion, we didn't let it die there. No one on the sales team knew who L**da was, so we had to use our friends in other departments to point her out, so that we could put a face with the famous crazy e-mail.
The best recycling of this e-mail came at the white elephant gift exchange the last Christmas I was at the station. My friend Amy bought a gallon of said Cherry Cordial ice cream and wrapped it in copies of the e-mail.
Ahh L**da, if only you would have picked that gift to unwrap.
6 comments:
The Office = Greatest show ever.
Please more FOX19 stories.
That was an amazing email.
I concur with Jack W. The Office = INCREDIBLE.
that is the single most wonderful email I have ever read. I cannot believe how many times she had to reiterate the fact that she was treating this as THEFT. For gosh sakes we get it! My personal fave line in the email was, "ONCE AGAIN I WONT MY ICE CREAM REPLACED BY MONDAY." Wont? I bet you won't.
I agree with jack w. more stories please!
Oh, don't worry -- there are plenty more where that came from ... I have two years worth of them.
i love this new blog post series. so glad you got out of there alive...
Didn't they say you could come back to work there if you wanted to? Awww, Not even to get more stories?
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