Her name is not really Chicky ...

Just in case you for some strange reason thought that. We've taken to that as her public nick name as we continue to keep her real name a final secret before she is born. I've been a regular advice receiver for about 9 months, and now I would like to dispense some of my own. My friends and family have of course, been WONDERFUL. But, some well meaning strangers have been CrAzY!!!! Some of these would not have occurred to me before I was pregnant.

RP's advice for interacting with your pregnant friends:

1. No matter what your prego friend looks like, she can't help it and is most likely self conscious about it. So, you saying things like "you don't even look pregnant" or "wow, your belly is huge" are of no help. Those kinds of comments are not appreciated. At all. You should stick to "you look great" or "you are so beautiful". She can't control how her body is shaped any more than you picked the color of your eyes. Get over it, and say something nice.

2. If a friend shares the name of their child with you the correct response is "great name". Seriously, think of it -- if you express your dislike for the name it will ONLY make things awkward for um, I don't know -- the REST OF YOUR LIFE with that friend and their kid. They didn't tell you so you could open up a discussion about your high school girlfriend with that name, they told you so you could get a gift embroidered appropriately. So, if you have a comment about the name, keep it to yourself no matter how much self control it takes. You don't get a say in this one, even if you are related to the baby. Itching to name something? Go buy a fish or a dog and name them what you will.

3. Questions about if you are getting an epidural or if you are breast feeding should also only be backed by support. If you are asking those questions so that you can judge the qualifications of a soon to be mom, it's better not to ask. People can decide what they want to. Be a good friend, be supportive.

4. Wait to give advice until asked. You are certainly great to offer "I'm here for you if and when you have any questions or just need to vent". That's helpful. But saying, "this is what you HAVE TO DO" is not helpful at all. A prego lady has enough on her mind without keeping a laundry list of 100 HAVE TO DOs that stretch over the next 6 months. So offer, "I'm here for you when you need me." That's real nice.

5. Offer up things you can do to help. Like my friend Ashley who offered to repaint my toenails for me. That's awesome. People who offer specific help are much more likely to be called when I think "dang it, I can't reach my toenails".

Thank you all for your wonderful support during this time. Looks like Monday is fiesta day for us, unless Chicky decides to come a little earlier. We'll keep you updated.