Inspired by Krissy and Alli, I'd like to give you the update on what has been going on at our house with Cana. She's two, and that means that we've still got some suffering to work out in her, when you are two sometimes suffering comes in the form of discipline (giving up your wants for what is best). At her dedication a friend told us that her suffering would be worked out early in life. That's good, especially if you believe this little gem:
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Romans 5:3
I really want my kids to have a lifetime of perseverance, character and hope.
At our house part of discipline is submission to authority. We've asked Cana to say, "yes Mommy" or "yes Daddy" when she needs to submit. This works for us. There is something about saying the words that makes her change and obey.
About three weeks ago on a Friday Cana wanted to sit in my lap at lunch. She was supposed to sit in her chair. We clearly laid out the expectation, but got a loud "NO" over and over again. I re-explained the expectations and reminded her to say "yes mommy". "NO!" I stayed calm. AP was right there with me. I continued to repeat the expectations and ask her to say, "yes Mommy". I get "NO!" Stayed calm. Repeated. Prayed for her. Hysteria ensued. Big tears. This continues for a good 8 minutes. AP prays over her, repeats the request. She gets out one final hard, heavy cry. Then she looks at me and says, "I'm sorry mommy, I'm so sorry. Yes mommy."
Whew. She happily obeyed and we celebrated (like she does most days). After she left the room I teared up. This parenting thing is hard sometimes, I'm so happy to be in it with AP. I'm happy to have my mom's support and a crazy great community of friends to learn from. We continue to work it out daily around here.
6 comments:
Have I told you that you inspire me. I'm so happy to read your blog for so many reasons...mostly because you are a great Mom. This post made me think about how often I lose track of what I'm trying to teach my kids once the "NO's" start flying. It reminds me to pray for them when they are struggling with obedience. Mostly it encourages me to pray more and to get frustrated less. So I'm going to try this whole "yes Mommy and Yes Daddy" approach instead of getting frustrated. While I'm working on it with them I'll practice it myself with God...sounds perfect. Thanks for sharing your beautiful amazing heart.
-Mariah
Good for you! It breaks my heart when they cry. We do the "yes" too. And my boys are old enough that sometimes they pretend not to hear you, so "yes" works great for that trick too.
It IS hard. I just keep telling myself that it's my kid's heart at stake...and I memorized this verse ..."Your father's instruction is a lamp, your mother's teaching is a light and the corrections of discipline are the way to LIFE."
Oooh, I love you two.
Great verse Alli -- gotta put that one in my arsenal.
Great post, great picture. This weekend Chuck talked about a great verse that resonated for me personally and for parenting: Heb 5:8 - "Although he (Jesus) was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered." Your post is a great reminder on how important suffering is; another thing it does is teaches obedience. For me, as I suffer I learn (over and over) that on my own it's hopeless and that my only hope is to turn to God and submit. And we've got to point our kids toward this too. Can't get enough of this topic! Thanks, Rachel.
Rachel - we always did the "yes mom/dad" response and it continues to be a helpful habit- even in the "tweener" years!
Ooooh...good stuff, Rachel. We do the "yes mommy" thing too. And it really is a great way to train them to respond in obedience. I've never thought of this phase of life as Isaac's suffering. (To be honest, more days it feels like OUR suffering. HA!)...But what a great reminder of our roles as parents to these ever-growing, ever-learning, ever-challenging two-year-olds! :)
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